Saturday, March 21, 2009
Labels: emotional breakdown;
damn it! seriously..i cant take it animore..i tot dat im tired of crying but dhen..ryte now..i juz cant stop it from flowing..dhe lurve for u is juz too deep..way too deep sia..nobody noe how much i lurve u..but dhen..i dun wan juz becoz of tis stupid feelings..our frenship is not as close as last tyme..i really do miss all our laughters when we were together..y sia..y am i so stupid to wait for a guy hu dun even wan me? y? after all dhe tears dat u have made, y do i still wait for u? y do i miss u? gaaaah!! but dhen, at dhe same tyme, i dun wan u to be force in to dhe relationship. i dun wan u to accept me juz becoz of sympathy.. i dun wan dat. i juz want an endless n sincere love which come ryte from dhe heart..but dearest..maybe..we should juz forget bout dat.. i noe i cant..i seriously cant..but its for ur own good..if u lurve her..juz go to her..juz act as if ive nvr enter into ur heart..i will juz pretend dat im a mad woman hu is yearning for ur lurve but..i juz cant have it. i tried to lurve other guy. i tried to forget bout u. i tried evrytink dat i could. but i FAIL!! u noe y? do u noe y i fail? dhe reason is, my lurve for u is juz way to deep dat nobody can ever replace. u r dhe ferst person hu can make me feel tis way. i can swear dat u r dhe only guy dat can touch my heart. i cant hold tis any longer.. i juz nid to let it out. if can, i would juz wan to say it straight to ur face. but i dun have dhe strenght. i could be rong. maybe we r juz not destinied to be together. idk. dhe tought of u can make me go crazy sia. haix ! i stil do remember dhe ferst tyme we communicate..7 december..it has been 105 days.. still remember dhe ferst tyme i met u.. dhe ferst tyme u to sing to me.. dhe ferst tyme i hug u.. i guess i gotta end it all here.. i have to force myself to throw it far far away. i dun mind if i dun find lurve..maybe u have found urs.. im still searching for it but to be frank,maybe i should juz forget bout love. "im not ready for a relationship" maybe i should juz use dat sentence. n would juz make dat guy wait. maybe all dhe love has gone. i would not want animore love. gaahh! love is no longer in my dictionary. dearest, tanx for makin me feel tis way. tanx for evrytink. ur teddy is still wif me. i shall juz kip it as memories. dhe movie ticket is still in my wallet. maybe i should juz throw it away. im confused. i dunno wad to do. maybe i shall juz rest my mind. n dun tink bout anitink. seriously, my lyfe had been so fucked up these day. i hate tis feeling. dhe feeling of someone leaving u alone slowly..overall..its not ur fault. it mine. becoz i have such a stupid brain n didnt use it to tink at all. dat is y i lead such a stupid lyfe where my own cousin didnt accept my weaknesses..where my frens didnt respect me. juz wanna tanx u once again. to make me feel dhe real love. dhe love which is vary hard to erase. dhe love which need alot of sacrifices..n yeah. I HATE YOU!! but i do still lurve u. no matter how much i hate u. i will still be there for u. even sometimes i feel as if im a toy gurl. dhe gurl whom u will only tok to when u were lonely.i noe im fat n ugly n no one would wan me. there is no way i could find it. thanks. dats is how i feel. gaaaaaaah!!
bby,im in lurve wif eu♥